katiejameson

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:33:42 GMT

I'm not the type of girl to compete for anything. Not a trophy or an a plus. So competing for a boy isn't something that I am remotely interested in. I believe that you want to be my friend. And I believe that there is some part of you, (and how big that part is, is still up in the air) that likes me. But I am not going to sit around and wait. And I'm not going to pull out all the stops to make you realise what you are missing out on. I'm at the point in my life where I don't really care. Complications and drama are not something that I seek. You either like me or you don't.

I think you are afraid that you could actually like me.
I think you are afraid that would mean you would have to give up your love of "the chase"
And if you don't than that's okay.
I am so okay with being alone

But I ask of you
Just don't hold me like you do, dont cuddle, dont touch and don't make me feel like an idiot. Cause inguring my pride and social awkwardness are things I can't really take at this point.

And I think that we could be really good friends

no matter what happens

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 20:47:25 GMT

i know i tried my best to be a really good person, and a really good friend.

and thats all that matters

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 21:21:37 GMT

i have never in my life not been able to come up with something to say.
3 days in a row. im blank.
when im around you its as if my tongue has been completely severed.
i cant tell if i love it or hate it.
but i need to put some words together soon or you are gonna find someone who can.

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 19:44:18 GMT

i guess all that matters is that i am happy
which i am, i dont want it to seem like i am not.
as long as i know who i am, and as long as im not in la la land i am going to be fine.

im just going to be myself.
no games
no competition.
just being happy.

its worked so far.

it gives me chills

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 15:44:18 GMT

the following was taken from a horoscope for MY exact Birthdate. January 5th

i might give the impression of being disorganized because i always seem to be in a hurry and am a rapid-fire conversationalist, but i am really a brilliant person.
(ummm ok because i cant function when things are all in order not to mention the way my stuff looks disorganized is actually the way my brain remembers things...this might be why i cant find anything when my stuff is clean)

In friendships i look for people who can communicate as well as they can love. i need friends who have opinions minds of their own, and who are not afraid to share them, even if they are different than mine.
(I CANT be friends with people who dont talk to me about things, example...every friendship i have ever had that has gone sour, almost all of my best friends do not have the same stand points as me, but its why i love them, i love the fact that my friends are different then me, i learn so much from them i wouldnt have it any other way)

In love; i am always going to attract people whom a long term relationship is absolutely impossible, and when i finally do settle down, i am always going to get bored and want the next thing. (THE BAIN OF MY FUCKING EXISTENCE, it just makes me mad, because i thought that the boredom part would go away...so that SUCKS )

i am not adaptable to parenting and i am not very comfortable around the thought of children but when i make an effort with them i seem to have an "easy time" with it. (i always new i wasnt cut out for parenting, i dont know how to act around children...)

if i dont exersize i might go crazy because i need my it to level out my equilibrium between my phisical and mental wellness(lets just say, when im not exersizing, im pretty sure i convince myself i am dying of a different disease that no one knows about...probably 2-3 times a day....its not even a joke)

i will probably not pay attention to the things going into my body so im probably going to need suppliments at somepoint to regain the strenght that i have lost from my poor choices(hahahah)

Its my goal to express the world as i see it. i am fascinated by small details and large events. i strive to learn more about the world, even though educational goals may not be a part of the picture for them, they never stop being students no matter what(This author IS SO DEAD ON its haunting)

i need to learn how to embrace Tenacity, friendliness, harmony more
(serra told me 3 months ago, that if i dont learn how to be more hard headed, "tenacious" im going to have people walk all over me forever...)

and i need to avoid Boredom, pressure, complaints.
(think about the only times i make poor choices, get crazy, or want to break down....)

my auto biography

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 07:22:57 GMT

stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid

holloween 2009

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 09:20:53 GMT

i am so excited to make this!
you have no idea!

yeah you've got that somethinnn

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 22:34:31 GMT

theres this half of me, and for some reason maybe more, who wants to surrender from this shell that i have formed over the past 5 years.
im sick of the game.
im sick of playing the fool
im sick of treating people like they are objects/and thus being one in return.

i feel like its so easy for everyone else to just settle and "be" with someone else.
is it wrong that my willingness to settle for just ANYONE is virtually non existant?
im the most independent person i know.
i dont NEED anyone around to be happy.
im not lonely. but i just want someone there. not even for the sex. just there, and mine.

someone that can hold my hand.

i wish i wasnt so damn picky.

so many things

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 10:36:09 GMT

i havent written in a while.
its so strange how everything can change.
I am so happy Its amazing.

1. got my feet tattooed. (not finished yet)

2. moved out of my Shitty living situation.
3. got my mom to give me 1/2 of my dads estate that he left me
4. paid off my credit card. and im now out of debt
5. Moved into THE coolest apartment ever. I seriously can be as loud as i want. and i can walk EVERYWHERE theres seriously nothing i need to use my car for besides going to work.
6. GOT THE CUTEST CAT EVER!
Jude Air PiPiopi Carlos Jameson

7. Got a disneyland pass. and now thats all i do.
8. started smoking Alot of weed.
9. got suspended from work. probably cause i am too high all the time. (go figure)
10. and aquired really fucking badass friends in the process.

im seriously so happy.
its retarded

now all i need is a hand to hold and things will be perfect

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 00:02:04 GMT

I'm trying to be brave 'cause when I'm brave
other people feel brave
but I feel like my heart is caving in

on another note.
Brandon...Please don't forget to breathe.
ok thanks.

<3

im gonna whine

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 11:17:03 GMT

i havent drank in 3 days.
i havent had a cig in 3 days.
i havent had sex in 15 days.(which is fine, i can totaly deal with that but....)i havent even made a wish in 12 days because i went on tour and i havent been alone since.

I FEEL LIKE I AM GOING TO EXPLODE.

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 14:05:32 GMT

got my tattoo for my dad

and i love it.

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 22:12:30 GMT

well i woke up at 2 pm

hah.

:-)

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 10:23:36 GMT

i do things that an empty girl would do.
however i am quite the contrary. i am full.
i do things that a depressed person would do
but...the exact opposite, i am really happy.

i wish i knew what i wanted to do with my life
i wish i had direction
i wish fucking around wasnt an option
i wish i could tell you i love you

i wish you would say it back.

im just going to do my puzzle.
watch netflix

and pretend im going to wake up before 4pm tomorrow
so i can get another 9 to 5
and distract myself from the things i "wish" would happen.

life

Tue, 26 May 2009 12:30:55 GMT

life has been SO simple recently
i wake up whenever i want
i go to work
i come home and i go out.
and then wash and repeat if needed.

i get to see Bre ALL the time now which is a throw back to 2 years ago
when i could just be me and stupid and farty and boy-ish all the time and i love it.
more than you could ever know.

ive become A LOTTTTTT closer to all of the boys at ginas and it gives me alot to do when im not working there.
...

it never fails that during these next 14 weeks i will probably be a mess.
my mom tells me its my yearly phase when i freak out about my dad
i can go all year without crying and then for no reason someone can say anything and its not even emotional but tears will start rolling down my face
its like perminant pms
.

i was thinking that this year might be the one that i spread ashes.

july 21st.

nonz. b. bean. and shas would be the only people i would feel comfortable with in doing this.
but im thinking that that will be the day i do it since its the anniversary.

maybe lindsey cause she was there last year too.

its a tuesday which is awkward maybe i can find a better time

schedualing something so morbid is pretty retarded.

i just want my shot of jameson and to keep on truckin..

another year and i feel like i have become a better person then the one past.

personal growth is essential at this point.

xoxo gossip girl

hahahhaha

Mon, 25 May 2009 10:03:29 GMT

you think you know people....

well... I know.

so stop pretending.

,,,,

Tue, 19 May 2009 20:01:01 GMT

I just want to figure out how he met their god damnd mother...

Sun, 10 May 2009 09:39:57 GMT

LA LA LA

im so bored with life right now.

i cant wait for summmerrrrrr

i wanna get totes trubs in caves.

and get tan.

One day

Fri, 08 May 2009 19:49:33 GMT

i want to write a book about all of the funny shit that happens to me.

honestly there are SO many things i never tell anyone about because its not the right time or place or it would just make me look like a horrible person (now)...seriously i think people would die laughing at the stuff i have to say.

i cant wait.

when it comes to dating.

Tue, 05 May 2009 20:24:48 GMT

I will admit that the thought of commitment scares the FN shit out of me.

i treat everyone of my relationships like showers.
i go in and i do what i need to do...i.e. wash my hair, face, body and shave.
and then i get out.

i dont sit in the shower and just wait for my skin to get so waterlogged that it gets all gross and wrinkly

i never understood how people could just take like 40 minute showers
what are you doing in there...

anyway

i just need to find someone who makes me wanna get pruney with them.

this was the worst analogy ever.

wow

hahaha

Fri, 01 May 2009 05:48:46 GMT

oh man

high five me

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 10:48:06 GMT

i feel anxious in the best way. like i am on the edge and somethings about to happen.

its funny how you go for so long being taken advantage of, and the second someone tries to treat you like a lady it totally feels like something foreign.

i feel so absent during things...

like when i am being drunk dialed at 3 am
like when you are being told how cute you are , and feeling completely numb to it.

i feel like im living outside of myself
because im so used to being shit on....

thanks previous assholes...i want to shank you hard.

XOXO

GOSSIP GIRL

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 08:30:59 GMT

as soon as i find myself in a place where i am told that i am
"not special, and too much too deal with"
i realized i am most certainly special and to tell someone that they are not is so rude, and hurtful even out of spite or anger i dont think i could ever tell anyone that. and secondly i would always 100% rather be someone who is "too much to deal with" then be boring like him.

so then out of no where i met someone new.

and i am totally smitten.

i dont know whats happening but i really like the way this is going.

ohh hahahaha PS

dont ask me how i found this out

but im pretty sure that the girl who lives in the room over from me was in a porn.

either that or she has an identical twin.

mmmm?

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 20:26:13 GMT

UGHfjslkfjslkdjfslkd!!!!!

one day i hope karma gets you.

!!!!!

cause lord knows im not gonna say anything

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 19:23:12 GMT

I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
I'll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I'll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I'll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone